If These Walls Could Talk

JANET: So whose place are we viewing today?
JOY: My all-time favorite RHONYC-- Jill Zarin's!
JANET: Woah, what the hell is this?



Joy: Relax. This is the 'before'.
JANET: Wowsers. Are you sure this isn't a pic of her great-aunt's house in Poughkeepise?
JOY: Funny. Now look at the after...



JANET: Better. I guess. It's a lot brighter and lighter. But oh--my-- gawd... is that two-toned parquet flooring???



JOY: Yeah. I know. But look how nice it's cleaned up below!

JANET: They shoulda replaced it.

JOY: She's thrifty. Nothin' wrong with that. You know, a lot of people HATED the re-do of this apartment.

JANET: Well, at the very least, it's a definite improvement over what it was. I'll give 'em that.

JOY: Look at the kitchen before.
JANET: I have to say I've never seen so many different shades of burgundy in one space.



JOY: Yeah, I'm not digging the kitchen. Even in the 'after'.
JANET: Holy shit-- did they mac-tac the cabinets??



JOY: Uhm, yeah... I think this is where Jill's 'gay husband' Brad went a little too far. Clearly this room needs a little less 'Brad' and a little more 'Bobby'.
JANET: Woah. Who's Brad and who's Bobby?
JOY: You really frustrate me.


All photos: traditional home

JOY: And finally, here is the bedroom...

JANET: Just look at that bed-- that's a lot of fabric.
JOY: "Fabric! Fabric! Fabric! Are ya happy now Bobby?"
JANET: What the hell are you talking about?
JOY: Dammit Janet! If you watched the show, you'd know...