If These {Bathroom Walls} Could Talk

Source: Domino

JOY: My first reaction to this whole thing is a shudder. Eeeew!
JANET: I can't imagine why... who doesn't want germ-infested wall-to-wall carpeting and a cowhide in their bathroom-cum-closet?
JOY: Yeah. Uhm, me. There is no way I would want to step out of that tub onto that hairy animal's back.
JANET: What about the strangeness of the working bathroom hardware (read: TOILET) in the space where I'm supposed to be getting dressed? Not to be gross, but the last time I checked, odours tended linger in bathrooms. And in fabrics.
JOY: Gotcha. And you are being gross. But seriously, back to the carpet. Did we not all agree that carpet in a bathroom was unsanitary? Disgusting?? And here there's not just one but two. TWO!
JANET: You think space might be an issue here? If the clothes have to be kept in the bathroom, why could there not be, like, doors on the closet at least?
JOY: As soon as one drop of water hits that cowskin rug, it's going to reek like wet cow. And trust me-- that's worse than wet dog.
JANET: Oh for shit's sake-- how would you know? Are you hiding a cow somewhere that I don't know about?
JOY: Maybe I am. Really though, it's gotta be worse. How can it be better?
JANET: Can we get off the freakin' carpet already?
JOY: I'd like to, but we're STANDING on it... I can't believe I took off my shooooooes!
JANET: Relax, I'll draw you a nice hot bath to calm you down... and pull a Howie Mandel and completely cover the floor with germ-free towelling.
JOY: I'm outta here.